do nothing but sigh
Hello all. Currently writing from the Telecounseling Office where I've been sitting with my awesome headset for the last two hours, chatting with high school children about potential visits and applications to Coe. I want to scream, "DON'T LISTEN TO ME." I want to send them hidden messages in my speeches about extracurricular activities. I want to tell them that I know nothing about the Business department but that I do know how to bullshit my way through classes.
I've been doing a lot of reading for my research project with Dr. Bob. I mean, I have been doing a lot of reading. A lot. It wouldn't be so bad if I weren't reading all of the prefaces written by the entire freshman class last year for their First Year Seminar portfolios. I will sum it up for you:
1. Writing. Worse than war.
2. I thought I could just write the paper like I did in high school. But then I got it back with red marks so I cried. But then my essay got wet and the red marks ran and I didn't know how to revise so I went to the Writing Center and they fixed my paper for me. Now I'm smart.
3. I'm actually smart but grouped with a ton of crazies so I sound crazy too.
I will be beyond happy when this project is completely finished.
News:
1. Visitors!
2. My birthday!
3. Birthday boyfriend visit!
4. Wine!
5. Wine wine wine!
6. I applied for a job at St. Luke's so I really need some wine.
I've been doing a lot of reading for my research project with Dr. Bob. I mean, I have been doing a lot of reading. A lot. It wouldn't be so bad if I weren't reading all of the prefaces written by the entire freshman class last year for their First Year Seminar portfolios. I will sum it up for you:
1. Writing. Worse than war.
2. I thought I could just write the paper like I did in high school. But then I got it back with red marks so I cried. But then my essay got wet and the red marks ran and I didn't know how to revise so I went to the Writing Center and they fixed my paper for me. Now I'm smart.
3. I'm actually smart but grouped with a ton of crazies so I sound crazy too.
I will be beyond happy when this project is completely finished.
News:
1. Visitors!
2. My birthday!
3. Birthday boyfriend visit!
4. Wine!
5. Wine wine wine!
6. I applied for a job at St. Luke's so I really need some wine.
Hello from New Zealand! It's been awhile since I've updated, but that's what happens with you travel to the Southern Hemisphere without a computer. Currently I'm on Dr. Bob's netbook, which is currently holding all of my photographs that I've taken thus far and a bit of writing.
Currently I'm in Masterton, a town in the southern bit of the North Island of New Zealand. If I could pronounce or remember the names of the mountain ranges in the area I would talk about them more, but I can't so I won't say anything else besides driving through them with Dr. Bob is terrifying. We've been to Auckland too. Traveled to Wellington, the capital of NZ, and then drove here. We've visited Cape Palliser and the Palliser Pinnacles. We've seen the ocean and the black sand. Saw a huge seal colony playing in the water. Climbed 250 stairs to a red and white lighthouse. We've been to native bush, tramping through rocky and muddy trails. We've even walked a swinging rope bridge across a gorge. My clothes are extremely dirty. Everywhere is cold. No buildings have heating, so they use space heaters and heated comforters in their beds. The hot water doesn't last very long so you have to take very fast showers.
We've met some very awesome Kiwis. Barry and cattle and sheep farmer, showed us how they use their dogs to gather sheep. He let us driving his 4 wheeler. Colin and Jenny made us the BEST dinner thus far and were like grandparents, taking us to see their favorite parts of NZ.
Last night John and I made stir fry and it was amazing. And we didn't have class last night. Hurray!
Next we head to Castlepoint, which is far from everything so we have to buy enough food for the entire week we will spend there. Hopefully the southerly we're having will blow over and we'll get to see the sunshine and tuck away our rain jackets.
Okay, enough of this boring stuff for now. Don't know where I'll get to write again so until next time...
Currently I'm in Masterton, a town in the southern bit of the North Island of New Zealand. If I could pronounce or remember the names of the mountain ranges in the area I would talk about them more, but I can't so I won't say anything else besides driving through them with Dr. Bob is terrifying. We've been to Auckland too. Traveled to Wellington, the capital of NZ, and then drove here. We've visited Cape Palliser and the Palliser Pinnacles. We've seen the ocean and the black sand. Saw a huge seal colony playing in the water. Climbed 250 stairs to a red and white lighthouse. We've been to native bush, tramping through rocky and muddy trails. We've even walked a swinging rope bridge across a gorge. My clothes are extremely dirty. Everywhere is cold. No buildings have heating, so they use space heaters and heated comforters in their beds. The hot water doesn't last very long so you have to take very fast showers.
We've met some very awesome Kiwis. Barry and cattle and sheep farmer, showed us how they use their dogs to gather sheep. He let us driving his 4 wheeler. Colin and Jenny made us the BEST dinner thus far and were like grandparents, taking us to see their favorite parts of NZ.
Last night John and I made stir fry and it was amazing. And we didn't have class last night. Hurray!
Next we head to Castlepoint, which is far from everything so we have to buy enough food for the entire week we will spend there. Hopefully the southerly we're having will blow over and we'll get to see the sunshine and tuck away our rain jackets.
Okay, enough of this boring stuff for now. Don't know where I'll get to write again so until next time...
truth
Perks of being homeless:
1. Not living with your crazy mother.
2. Not living with your mother, who is crazy.
3. Not living with a crazy woman who is your mother.
Sounds good to me.
1. Not living with your crazy mother.
2. Not living with your mother, who is crazy.
3. Not living with a crazy woman who is your mother.
Sounds good to me.
thoughts to have at the mechanics
Let's be honest, I tend to get a bit personal here. Also, I don't give a flying fuck.
Lately I've been thinking about the world. (After puncturing a tire with something larger than a nail but sharper than a bolt and sitting on the ground while watching the mechanic sew it all up again.)
The world in the form of my thoughts:
1. We consider it our world because we've claimed possession. Like stealing a bike or the last piece of German Chocolate Cake. The fact that we are the world's bitches is known by all but kept hush-hush by most.
2. The world is called Earth. We are Earthlings.
3. Some of us Earthlings are worldy. Worldly Earthlings are aware of the world and are active participators. They draw pictures of the Earth.
4. Some of us are not worldy. Un-worldy Earthlings are out-of-this-world. Many make alien movies. Some commit suicide.
5. The Earth is round (relatively). Our heads are round (relatively). The Earth is our head. Our heads are the Earth.
6. The moon orbits around the Earth. No one knows if the Earth wants it to or not.
7. The Earth orbits around the Sun. There's a similar sentiment.
8. The Earth is made of chemistry. It is an unlikely happening. Or perhaps unabated.
9. Earthlings that move about the Earth, living in one place and then the next are called nomads.
10. There are two types of Earthlings. 1. Nomads and 2. the type that (like dogs) crawl under the front porch to die. The front porch may also be called Florida.
I am a nomad.
Lately I've been thinking about the world. (After puncturing a tire with something larger than a nail but sharper than a bolt and sitting on the ground while watching the mechanic sew it all up again.)
The world in the form of my thoughts:
1. We consider it our world because we've claimed possession. Like stealing a bike or the last piece of German Chocolate Cake. The fact that we are the world's bitches is known by all but kept hush-hush by most.
2. The world is called Earth. We are Earthlings.
3. Some of us Earthlings are worldy. Worldly Earthlings are aware of the world and are active participators. They draw pictures of the Earth.
4. Some of us are not worldy. Un-worldy Earthlings are out-of-this-world. Many make alien movies. Some commit suicide.
5. The Earth is round (relatively). Our heads are round (relatively). The Earth is our head. Our heads are the Earth.
6. The moon orbits around the Earth. No one knows if the Earth wants it to or not.
7. The Earth orbits around the Sun. There's a similar sentiment.
8. The Earth is made of chemistry. It is an unlikely happening. Or perhaps unabated.
9. Earthlings that move about the Earth, living in one place and then the next are called nomads.
10. There are two types of Earthlings. 1. Nomads and 2. the type that (like dogs) crawl under the front porch to die. The front porch may also be called Florida.
I am a nomad.
i'll bartend your party
I would like to take this moment to recognize two things:
1. I cannot go to bed before four in the morning anymore. Somewhere along the line (the line being drawn between moving home from NY and today) I made the mistake of staying up very late, therefore waking up late the next day. Following said day came many more in which the pattern followed. Long story short, I am awake now, and after falling asleep, will not be awake again until tomorrow at two. Post Meridiem. That's about four hours of sunshine. Is also means that I eat breakfast at 2:30, lunch at 6:30, and dinner around 10. And of course, there's the before bed snack. It's a cruel cycle and I dread (look forward to) the day I have to wake up before noon.
2. Making a mix tape is very difficult. Especially when it's for a music lover who probably has more music than you do. Painstaking.
Schedule for the rest of the week:
Thursday: Wake up. Text Emily while she's in her night class reminding her that she has to ask the sexy classmate out on a date.
Friday: Wake up. Go to the Credit Union with Dad. Dentist appointment. Orioles game.
Saturday: Wake up. Find something to do that's not blogging.
1. I cannot go to bed before four in the morning anymore. Somewhere along the line (the line being drawn between moving home from NY and today) I made the mistake of staying up very late, therefore waking up late the next day. Following said day came many more in which the pattern followed. Long story short, I am awake now, and after falling asleep, will not be awake again until tomorrow at two. Post Meridiem. That's about four hours of sunshine. Is also means that I eat breakfast at 2:30, lunch at 6:30, and dinner around 10. And of course, there's the before bed snack. It's a cruel cycle and I dread (look forward to) the day I have to wake up before noon.
2. Making a mix tape is very difficult. Especially when it's for a music lover who probably has more music than you do. Painstaking.
Schedule for the rest of the week:
Thursday: Wake up. Text Emily while she's in her night class reminding her that she has to ask the sexy classmate out on a date.
Friday: Wake up. Go to the Credit Union with Dad. Dentist appointment. Orioles game.
Saturday: Wake up. Find something to do that's not blogging.
Dear future me,
Go outside. Find a patch of sunshine and follow it across the ground like a cat in a carpeted house with lots of windows. You need color and those sunshine-y vitamins.
Finish cleaning. Ignore the fact that your ceiling has collapsed (pictures later?) and carry-on.
Pack. Can be done once the cleaning is finished.
Start eating healthy. And by that I mean start cooking.
You're lazy and hazy.
- Me from now
Go outside. Find a patch of sunshine and follow it across the ground like a cat in a carpeted house with lots of windows. You need color and those sunshine-y vitamins.
Finish cleaning. Ignore the fact that your ceiling has collapsed (pictures later?) and carry-on.
Pack. Can be done once the cleaning is finished.
Start eating healthy. And by that I mean start cooking.
You're lazy and hazy.
- Me from now
Back from the beach, all! Rehoboth is shiny as usual, with shell-speckled beaches, cold water, and an array of dead horseshoe crabs. Also, I am deciding to lay off the booze, after 100 rounds of Sorry and crab dip at a local bar.I'm getting used to traveling light. This weekend was spent entirely in the same pair of sweatpants and sweatshirt. When the underwear got dirty, they were simply removed. And by dirty I mean probably are but it isn't obvious, dirty. Anyways, It was a free weekend.
In other news, I have my backpack prepared for hiking. Water bottle, water-proof clothing and compressable sleeping bag on deck. How many days left? 12 days, folks. Less than two weeks and I'm off again.
Baseball game this weekend? Yes.
Cleaning and packing? Yes.
As many home-cooked meals as possibly while I'm here seeing as I can't cook? Yes.
You should listen to The Cave Singers. Now.
the bauhaus
Wassily Kandinsky, Transverse Line 1923No need to look up any other Bauhaus artists (Josef Albers, Laszlo Moholy-Nagy, Max Bill or Herbert Bayer). Or you could, just for giggles.
i thought that...
This is me giving a big thumbs up to grunge. I mean downright dirty. Dirty clothes, hair, and teeth. (Think big woolen, teethy, sweater vests with faux-fur hood.) I mean haven't a clean pair of underwear in sight. Hidden, perhaps, but definitely not in range of my eyes. I mean, straight-up, no joke, not messing around - everything around me is pure raunchy.
In other news, I quite enjoy being back here. By here I mean Lace&Lilac the page specifically. This place is shiny like I remember. A home away from home of sorts, minus the roadkill of a saying. I love talking about nothing in hopes that one day I will print everything out, rearrange, staple and sign by a false name. I will stuff the printed manuscript of a blog into someones mailbox (anyone's, preferably in a Jewish neighborhood). I will let them deal with it. If it's never published in any form, there will be no dashed dreams for this girl. Nope.
I would never consider myself the kind of person to have a published blog. In fact, that seems like unnecessary stardom. I'd feel naked. I'd feel covered in peeping-tom eyes. Which brings me to another consideration- why the fuck do I have a blog?
I should sleep. That thing that people do when it gets dark in their room. (Er, one of the things.)
In other news, I quite enjoy being back here. By here I mean Lace&Lilac the page specifically. This place is shiny like I remember. A home away from home of sorts, minus the roadkill of a saying. I love talking about nothing in hopes that one day I will print everything out, rearrange, staple and sign by a false name. I will stuff the printed manuscript of a blog into someones mailbox (anyone's, preferably in a Jewish neighborhood). I will let them deal with it. If it's never published in any form, there will be no dashed dreams for this girl. Nope.
I would never consider myself the kind of person to have a published blog. In fact, that seems like unnecessary stardom. I'd feel naked. I'd feel covered in peeping-tom eyes. Which brings me to another consideration- why the fuck do I have a blog?
I should sleep. That thing that people do when it gets dark in their room. (Er, one of the things.)
misery
It's official. Being home is probably the worst thing I've ever experienced. Not only is the house (literally) falling apart, not only do I not have anywhere to sleep, not only am I going to be alone and without transportation for the next three days, but I have no money.
I am without money, without a car, without anyplace to go. My check from school still hasn't come. I'm getting worried, especially with a $200 credit card bill to pay by the 15th. I may just spend my time worrying at Emily's house while we watch movies and drink wine. Oh, also, I still have to go to the laundromat to wash my clothes. Because our dryer's broken.
On that note, New York is consuming me. I spend my time on Craig's List looking at available apartments in Brooklyn and Washington Heights. I look for jobs and find none. It's just out of reach and frustrating. I need to get it out of my system.
I am without money, without a car, without anyplace to go. My check from school still hasn't come. I'm getting worried, especially with a $200 credit card bill to pay by the 15th. I may just spend my time worrying at Emily's house while we watch movies and drink wine. Oh, also, I still have to go to the laundromat to wash my clothes. Because our dryer's broken.
On that note, New York is consuming me. I spend my time on Craig's List looking at available apartments in Brooklyn and Washington Heights. I look for jobs and find none. It's just out of reach and frustrating. I need to get it out of my system.
i was the fool beside you
There are a few things that have frightened me lately.
1. My inability to go to bed before 4 in the morning.
2. My inability to wake up before 2 in the afternoon.
3. My lack of plans in general.
4. The lack of people to talk to in real life as opposed to via electronics.
5. The giant hole in my ceiling.
6. My disinterest in music.
I've noticed that showers are perfect for when you're bored. Also, Apartment Therapy isn't therapy at all, rather, a mental train wreck for the poor and apartmentless.
Where are you New York? Why have you gone from my life. You're hard but you're easy. Come back.
1. My inability to go to bed before 4 in the morning.
2. My inability to wake up before 2 in the afternoon.
3. My lack of plans in general.
4. The lack of people to talk to in real life as opposed to via electronics.
5. The giant hole in my ceiling.
6. My disinterest in music.
I've noticed that showers are perfect for when you're bored. Also, Apartment Therapy isn't therapy at all, rather, a mental train wreck for the poor and apartmentless.
Where are you New York? Why have you gone from my life. You're hard but you're easy. Come back.
the places to live
I am officially back. And what I mean is that I am officially back in Baltimore.
Adjusting to the move from NYC to Baltimore is harder than I expected. Moving to NYC was difficult. Everywhere the spaces are smaller. The supermarkets are tiny, the streets are tiny, my room was tiny. Everywhere there are people. So many people that you don't notice them. There is always something to do. To get anywhere you have to walk or take the subway or both. It's far more expensive.
Not Baltimore. Today I went to the supermarket. First, I had to drive there. I had to get into the car, adjust all of the mirrors, the seat and the stearing wheel. I had to find the right radio station. (Classic rock.) Once I got to the store, I had to park. I parked as far away as possible, to say away from where all the cars were. Finally - the store. There were so many aisles - so much space and so few people. I felt exposed, like everyone saw me. It was stressful, to say the least. And parallel parking once I was back home? Impossible. I had to call for help.
The good news? Now that I'm back home, I have time to do my writing and it's socially acceptable to wear sweatpants.
I'm going to be sentimental about the situation. I like and dearly miss NYC and know for a fact that I will be living there with the ones I love and living in an apartment with my own puppy and my own plants. Is that too much to ask, you think?
Only one year of college left. The last year will inevitably the hardest but then I get to live. I mean really live.
Adjusting to the move from NYC to Baltimore is harder than I expected. Moving to NYC was difficult. Everywhere the spaces are smaller. The supermarkets are tiny, the streets are tiny, my room was tiny. Everywhere there are people. So many people that you don't notice them. There is always something to do. To get anywhere you have to walk or take the subway or both. It's far more expensive.
Not Baltimore. Today I went to the supermarket. First, I had to drive there. I had to get into the car, adjust all of the mirrors, the seat and the stearing wheel. I had to find the right radio station. (Classic rock.) Once I got to the store, I had to park. I parked as far away as possible, to say away from where all the cars were. Finally - the store. There were so many aisles - so much space and so few people. I felt exposed, like everyone saw me. It was stressful, to say the least. And parallel parking once I was back home? Impossible. I had to call for help.
The good news? Now that I'm back home, I have time to do my writing and it's socially acceptable to wear sweatpants.
I'm going to be sentimental about the situation. I like and dearly miss NYC and know for a fact that I will be living there with the ones I love and living in an apartment with my own puppy and my own plants. Is that too much to ask, you think?
Only one year of college left. The last year will inevitably the hardest but then I get to live. I mean really live.
heart skipped a beat
Things:
1. Calls.
2. Okay.
3. Chat.
4. Snow.
5. Parking.
6. Dirt.
7. China.
8. Baths.
9. Money.
10. Laundry.
11. Groceries.
12. Bus.
13. City.
14. Sleep.
1. Calls.
2. Okay.
3. Chat.
4. Snow.
5. Parking.
6. Dirt.
7. China.
8. Baths.
9. Money.
10. Laundry.
11. Groceries.
12. Bus.
13. City.
14. Sleep.
empire state of mind
Hello there. Long time no see! For future reference, I have made a blog for my travels in New York. I'll still be writing here, though. This is my personal blog. I don't think I could give it up if I tried. But if you want to know what I'm up to in detail while I'm living in the Upper West Side - read me here.
