there is no leaving new york

If today was an sign of the summer to come, I'm a bit concerned.

I woke up at 9:00 in the morning to take my dog for a walk. I couldn't go back to sleep so I showered and then proceeded to put my pajamas back on and watch television. I found myself hungry around 1:00, walked my dog again, and then (in my pajamas) went to Taco Bell for breakfast. Which I ate in a McDonalds parking lot. The family came home around 3:00, where they found my sorry ass playing drums on Rockband. I played all night, through 35 of 58 songs of a solo tour, and then came up here to bed.

Instead of sleeping, I decided to check facebook and then do a bit of writing. Thus far, all I've managed to write is "I will not give in" about 900 times.

On another note, my birthday is in two days. For the past couple of years, I have had shitty birthday weeks due to relationship problems. I refuse to let this happen. If this means convincing myself I'm not in a relationship, then so be it. Which sounds more horrible than it is...but I don't care. I'm desperate.

Isn't it horrible how you always imagine your birthday being so much better than it is? You imagine surprise parties and friends popping out behind your couch when you get home from work. You imagine finding your lover naked in your bed full of rose petals. (Too much? Maybe.) Damndamndamn. I will not get my hopes up!

I. Will. Not. Give. In!